If you have never familiarized yourself with the wonder that is HP sauce, I suggest you do so immediately. Go now. Track down the nearest bottle and [USE] Bottle of Brown Sauce [WITH] Bacon Sandwich. I will wait here while you do so.

The odd thing about HP sauce though is its somewhat ethereal properties; just as when you attempt to read something in a dream, any attempt to read the list of ingredients on the side of an HP sauce bottle will show you nothing but words that shift and shimmer, words whose very letters fade in and out of existence as your gaze passes over them — whatever this magical condiment is made from cannot be gleaned by mortal eyes.

Or that might just be me, I dunno, I haven’t been to an opticians in like forever.